Complete Revolution
by Lrigelbbub
Summary: I hated you. I hated everything about you. I truly did. Absolutely everything. [hints of SasuNaru]


DISCLAIMER: I do not own Naruto.

A/N: This is my first fic in the Naruto fandom. It will contain mentions of m/m relations. If this offends you please move on to something that you do like. Don't continue reading and don't show your ignorance by flaming me now that I have warned you fair in advance.

Characters may seem out of character…but how the hell am I to know what truly goes on in another's head! These are thoughts…so there is very little basis to go by…If you truly don't like it – better luck elsewhere. There are plenty of good SasuNaru fics out there.

COMPLETE REVOLUTION

I hated you. I hated everything about you. I truly did. Absolutely everything. From your sunshine locks that didn't ever seem to see the teeth of a comb, to your wide bright smile, to your sun kissed skin and your eyes, as wide and expressive as a child's; a colour so blue that it reminded me of the sky on a cloudless day or the ocean at days break.

I hated you so I never bothered to know anything more about you other then your name and your appearance…and your scent. It was this curious cinnamon, citrus-y smell that I could never quite pin down mixed with something that was entirely unique to you.

I hated that you were always in my face. I didn't understand. I soon realised that you had a crush on Haruno Sakura and that the foolish girl had a crush on me. But still I didn't know why you were always so made at me. I didn't like her. I didn't like any of the girls that claimed to like me and I never ever encouraged their affections. In fact at that time I didn't quite like anyone at all.

I hated that you stole my first kiss. I was embarrassed at the girls' reactions as if they assumed that one of them should have been my first kiss. But is didn't stop them from beating up on you because I felt that you deserved it. I didn't join in though. That would have given away how much the fact that you took something of mine affected me.

I hated that I was placed in the same team as you and the foolish girl with outrageous pink hair. I hated that our teacher was always late and I hated that he humiliated me in front of you. But then, he humiliated you as well so that was okay in the end I suppose.

I hated the fact that I pitied you when you were tied to that log like the dobe that you are. But at the same time I am glad that I offered you some of my lunch and ignored the girl who screeched her disappointment at going against the rules. If I hadn't have taken pity on you then we would have failed the task of teamwork and none of us would be ninja. But I hated that my heart had softened at the pathetic sight that you made. I was supposed to be a hardened soul. I wasn't supposed to care about anything or anyone else other than myself. I was an avenger. The only thing that was to be weighing on my mind was my brother and the sins he had committed against me and my clan. I had to kill him and I had to restore my clan to its former glory. I had to live solely for that one purpose.

On our missions you always pushed me. You tried to better me at everything we did and I hated it. But if it weren't for you then I don't know how long it would have taken me to reach the top of that tree on the disastrous water country mission.

That is another thing that I hated about you. In that moment I knew it was a trap and I still stood over you and took that hit from the hunter nin that fought by Zabuza's side. In my head I couldn't fathom a reason as to why I did it. My blood was pounding in my ears and my heart was racing. I hated when you yelled at me. But you were right, never once in all the time that I had known you did you ever ask for my help. In fact I had never known for you to ask for help except that time you asked Sakura tips on charka control.

When I fell you caught me and I hated that fact. That I was weak, that I had fallen and that you had held me close in your arms. I felt like crying when I realised that I was dying and I would never be able to fulfil my dream of avenging my clan. I closed my eyes and the last thing I saw was your tears and all I could think off was how much I hated myself for making you cry. Then everything went dark and the next thin I remember was the sound of sobbing and a heavy weight sprawled over my chest. A scent of flowers in bloom surrounded me and I knew that it wasn't you there. I hated that fact; that you weren't there. For some reason I was worried for you and when I found out that the masked boy was dead shock ran through me. Who killed him? Had you? Then Sakura informed me that Kakashi-sensei had killed him in the end as he defended Zabuza against the Chidori. At that fact I felt like I could suddenly breathe easier. It made me relieved to know that you hadn't soiled your hands with another's blood.

It wasn't until years later that I found out the whole truth about that day. That the boy, Haku, had come to you before the fight. Had told you things that had changed you. Had told you something, something that you kept with you forever.

It was something that made you stronger.

And I hated that fact.

I could see that you were getting stronger every day and truth about the fight in the mist proved it to me but still I didn't understand your strength. When we met Gaara of the sand, he intrigued me. He had an aura that spoke volumes of strength. He was frightening and he had strange eyes. I promised myself that I would find the secret to his power.

At the chuunin exam the impromptu fight with Rock Lee shook me awake a little. He had no outstanding talents, no noble family and he had no bloodline limit but he beat me with ease. It was something that I couldn't understand. How had he beaten me? I possessed the Sharingan. It was a feared bloodline limit…I should have been stronger. But I wasn't.

I found out later that he possessed no talent for ninjutsu or genjutsu but he was a taijutsu master. He was a hard worker and he believed in himself and he had a thirst to prove himself to the world. He was a lot like you in that way. He wanted the ninjas to acknowledge him; he wanted the genius in his team; the former year's number one rookie, Hyuuga Neji, to acknowledge him as a ninja, as a fighter and as an adversary. He wanted respect.

This was something that I had never desired because I already had it. I had never yearned for it because I held the Uchiha name and it was the tragic noble clan. I never knew that it was what you wanted as well. I mean I knew your dream and your desire to be acknowledged but I never knew that you craved my respect as well.

During the second exam in the forest of death, that encounter with Orochimaru wearing that hidden grass nin's face sacred the crap out of me. I was terrified and I couldn't understand why you weren't when you were the one that was swallowed by the snake. You fought him with everything you had once you freed yourself from the snake's belly using your favourite move. You cursed me, told me that I couldn't possibly be the Sasuke he knew. No way in hell could I be the real Sasuke. I hated that you could face your fears and I couldn't. I hated that you could stand there and fight against something stronger than you. You called me a sacredy-cat and I knew that my cruel words had come back to bite me on the ass. It was only when you were knocked out that I moved. I saw what Orochimaru did do you. It looked like he had five tiny blue flames on the end of his fingers on one hand, he lifted the hem of your ridiculous orange sweater and shoved his palm into your gut, you gasped in pain and then he threw you away like a lifeless doll. I hated that he did that. I was the only one that was allowed to treat you like that. No one else was allowed to.

When that bastard sunk his teeth into my neck my body trembled in pain, what on earth had he done to me? My vision clouded and a throbbing erupted in my head – it was like nothing I had ever felt before. I sunk lower and lower into the abyss that that pain created but it brought me no relief.

At the preliminary fights for that chuunin exam I was to fight Gaara of the Desert. During that week that we were given before the start of the tournament I sought out Kakashi and he in turn taught me to master taijutsu and then the Chidori. I was confident that I could beat the genin from Hidden Sand village. When I made my arrival the other fights had already been fought and it wasn't until much later that I found out how you had defeated Neji. It shocked me a little that a dobe like you could defeat a genius from a noble clan. I hated that you could do that. I knew that at that time Neji was viewed as being stronger than me. He was viewed as being the strongest genin in Leaf at that time. And I hated that you could beat him. Did that mean that you could beat me too? I refused to believe that.

When chaos erupted during my match with Gaara I followed him and his siblings, Temari and Kankuro. I followed him so I could finish the match. I followed him so I could defeat him and his power and prove that I was indeed strong.

I didn't end up doing that. You did. And I hated you for it. For succeeding where I had failed. You defeated Gaara even after he transformed into that ugly creature that they tell me is Shukaku, an incarnate of the sand. That was why his eyes where so strange. The insanity had slowly been taking him over. He was cracking.

Even when you had finally gotten rid of Shukaku and only Gaara remained in his place you still wouldn't give up. I hated you for that stamina and that drive that you possessed. You weren't going to let anyone hurt your most precious people. I didn't quite understand what you meant by that. I mean I understood it to a degree, I didn't want to see anyone that was close to me die in front of me again but with you it was like it was on a whole different level. I heard your desperate voice as you spoke to Gaara as you both lay there. You spoke of things that I couldn't comprehend. I was lonely growing up as I had lost my family. But you…you had no family to start with and the village shunned you for a reason that was unclear to me. But apparently whatever that reason was you could relate to Gaara and I hated you for that too. How could you, a dobe, possibly relate to a powerful warrior like the sand nin?

You pressed on and only stilled when I told you to rest. I hated the fact that you trusted me enough to finally rest in my presence. I didn't want that. I wanted to be feared. I was going soft and I blamed you. I blamed it all on you. Temari and Kankuro then dropped in from no where. They stances saying to me that they were prepared to fight to defend Gaara. But he stopped them. Whispered words that I couldn't quite hear clearly, but the effect was immediate. Their guards were dropped and their eyes softened when taking in his fallen form. They picked him up and disappeared into the foliage.

I hated that I worried about your safety when I heard that Itachi was after you. I hated that he beat me and I was unable to defend you. I hated that you saved me in the end by bring back Tsunade-hime to heal me. I was supposed to be the genius; I was supposed to be the strong one not the other way around.

When I left Konoha, in retrospect, even though it was my jealously of your strength and my hatred for Itachi that I left to seek power, I think you were the only thing about Kohona that I actually missed. And when I recognised this within myself I hated you for making me feel this way. I wanted to be rid of it. I was desperate. I trained harder and I pushed all thoughts of you to the back of my mind.

Years later I can understand that you were an obsession for me and I hated you for it and I hated myself for developing it in the first place. When you brought me back, all those years ago, I found myself watching your every move. I needed to know that you were safe and I hated the fact that I had to know this.

I hated the fact that I couldn't protect you. You saved my life too many times to count. You don't need my protection, I can recognise now that you are far stronger than I could ever be; could ever dream of becoming. I hated that fact. I hated you for being stronger than me. But I knew why you were stronger than me. It wasn't like when we were children in that fight against Lee, who was a hard worker, you didn't inherit an advance bloodline but you were possessed of sorts.

The child vessel.

You were an outcast and you were punished for something that you did not do and could not change. I never really spent any time wondering why you were mistreated by the villages and why they looked down upon you in contempt and disgust. When I finally learned your secret, I was surprised to say the least. But it did explain a lot of things.

I desired the power of the Kyuubi but at the same time I can see how you struggle with the burden that was placed upon your shoulders. I wouldn't want that kind of burden.

I hated how you could always smile even in some of the worst situations. You seemed to take everything in your stride and you never gave up. I hated that I couldn't do that, shrug it all off. I was jealous when we were children because of that but as I got older it became more and more obvious that you weren't fine all the time. Even you, as perpetually happy as you appear, could be sad in side. When I discovered this I hated the fact that I hadn't seen it earlier.

I hated the fact that somehow over the years that we spent together and apart I have grown to care for you.

I hated the fact that I really didn't hate you as much as I had thought. I hated the fact that I didn't hate you at all.

I hated the fact that I had fallen in love with you.

I was in love with you.

The dobe. The Vessel. The child. The comrade. The ninja. The friend….my friend…

I didn't know what to do. I would have liked to have held you. I would have liked to have dried your eyes if you cried. I would have liked to have been the one that you let all your guards down with. I would have liked to have been the one that woke up beside you each morning and lay at your side every night…

I would have like many things.

I guess we will never know…and I hate you for that….

Author's Note: Make of this as you will. It was originally going to be a happy happy ending…but it didn't really turn out that way.

Anyways this was my first time for writing in the Naruto fandom. I hope I did ok…I haven't seen all the episodes…sadly I only 1-108…but !yah! for those. I must say as much as I like Sasuke and Naruto…Shikamaru is just so cool…heh!

Ok…well I hope you liked this. I do not know if I will write another.

**Note:** I know that I repeated the word Hate and Hated a lot. This was done intentionally that is why I did not find a synonym for it. Hate is a strong word, one full of repressed rage and barely controlled anger but it is a word that children use far too often. I wanted to reinforce the fact that Sasuke was somewhat childish in his judgements and his thinking…I wanted to demonstrate that he isn't a traitor or a horrible person or a hardened soul…simply a lost soul, a lost child trying to make sense of things that he can not comprehend: matters of the heart.

It does not bother me if people do not think as I do or if you don't understand my reasoning…but this is my view and I am entitled to that opinion just as you are to yours….so please respect that.

Be safe

BG


End file.
